The suit is damaged, it might not hold up this time.
Like many men, I have hidden my emotions behind a suit of armor for years.
Happy, sad, excited or mad – my external emotions were never displayed.
In some ways that was a good thing, but in others...
“I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself,” Robert Downey Jr. said in Iron Man II as Tony Stark.
For years I prided myself in my armor.
Hurt me, nothing. I’d turn the other cheek.
Anger, nothing. I’d hold it in and deal with the problem.
Excitement, nothing. Smiling while opening gifts in front of someone is the hardest thing to do.
But a series of events has damaged my armor and I am not sure I want it back.
Sometimes it hurts to feel, but it’s needed.
Maylee Grace is scheduled to enter this world on Saint Patrick’s Day (Yes, she will be wearing green) and I want her to see her daddy show emotion.
No, I don’t want to be the guy who flies off the handle over spilled milk, but I do want to be the guy who cries when he sees his daughter for the first time.
The guy who cries, cheers and applauds as she takes her first steps.
I want to be the guy who cries when his daughter goes on her first date and waits up in eager anticipation until she gets home.
I want to be the guy who cries while worshipping the Lord for the mercy, love and grace he has shown us – his children.
Perhaps my armor started to show damage when I found out I was going to be a father. Yet my emotions were kept in check and I did not show the excitement I was truly feeling inside.
Considerable damage was done Dec. 19, 2013 when I got the call my dad was dead.
Two months later, I was told I had high cholesterol and needed to make some changes.
There is a hole in the armor, it is not going to hold up.
“Life is filled with so many ups and downs, have you ever been there?”
“One day you’re smiling, the next day you’re fighting to hold back your tears to hide how you feel.”
“So tired of faking like everything is okay, when you know it’s not right.”
“No sleep at night.”
“You may be asking, ‘cause you never imagined, how can this be God?”
“This cannot be God.”
“I can only tell you what he told me...”
“Live through it. Grow through it. Get through it.”
“You can make it if you just, pray through it.”
“Don’t let this be the end for you. So live through it.”
Those are words from the song Live Through It by James Fortune that have helped me during this time of crumbling armor.
I have tried to hold the armor together, but the simplest things continue to chip away at it.
Our guest room is decorated with various Texas Ranger memorabilia I have collected through the years. Being in the room now, I weaken as if Superman was standing on top of kryptonite.
The Rangers were our thing, a common interest where my dad and I connected. Where myself, my sister and brother always found a way to relate to dad.
Now, a simple Elvis Andrus bobblehead sets off a series of emotions I’ve previously kept contained.
As the song says, I am praying through it but most importantly living through it.
Life throws curveballs we never expect, some weaken our armor.
God is in control and he allows us to grow through the tough areas of life.
My dad’s death hurts, but what it leaves behind is a stronger, more emotional son who will be able to provide for his daughter in ways he never could before.
“Live through it. Grow through it. Get through it. You can live through it. It’s working for your good.”
The suit is damaged, it might not hold up this time.
Rolling into something new
She did it.
My baby girl rolled over for the first time this past week while daddy and mommy were watching closely.
As other major news broke across the county, watching my baby roll over for the first time was by far the biggest news of the week for me. Odd.
Fanfare is a time to prepare for another season
I love to see the talent our student athletes have across Henderson County. To know that each player puts in the blood, sweat and tears to play for a district championship and hopefully a state title is something special to see.
Another great in the world of sports is a player who is retiring this season in New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter.
Jeter once said, “There may be people who have more talent than you, but there's no excuse for anyone to work harder than you do — and I believe that.”
The greatest country in the world has hungry children
No child should go hungry. We are the greatest country in the world, yet we have hungry children.
An article I recently read said that if a child in school can't afford lunch, they will be given a sandwich and water. I was told the sandwich is cheese between two pieces of bread.
I hope everyone realizes that is what they serve in the county jail. Not that I know this from personal experience. I was told from someone who did know from experience.
Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase.
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze.
It means no worries for the rest of your days.
It's our problem-free philosophy.
Congratulations, if you have watched the Lion King a couple of times you now have this song stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
It was a week in the depth of heat, then cooler
Sunday and Monday of this week have been very uncomfortable. The air conditioner at our house has been down, and the temperature outside and in the house have been way up.
Thank God for the blessing of the cool temperatures and the rain that fell on Tuesday, then on Wednesday. It changed things just a little bit.
Time away is necessary for everyone
I can remember as a kid writing essays on “How I Spent My Summer Vacation.” As the years pass, and we are more in-tune with the workplace, those vacations get shorter and shorter.
Do you ever have those days when you just need a vacation? Sometimes you just need to get away.
Taking time off work should be fun and rejuvenating. We all need a recharge every now and then. But vacations aren't what they use to be. We rarely disconnect ourselves from our jobs.
Student athletes: Time to wake up and get to work
Hey student athletes, it is about time for you to wake up and get to work.
Your summer is coming to an end, and the early morning wake up calls for practices are right around the corner.
I am talking to the football players, volleyball players, cross country kids, band members, drill team members and cheerleaders.
Remember who you are
Are you running so fast that you have forgotten why you started the race in the first place?
Life moving at a blistering pace that it is tough to keep up?
Maybe it is time to stop, take a deep look into the pool of water and remember. Remember who you are.
On numerous occasions, I have had to do just that. Ironically, various movies have caused me to look inside.
CSUMC provided a memorable experience
My wife Jean and I went to a very interesting, and what I consider a very unique event last Saturday night.
I had heard that the church where we are members, Carroll Springs United Methodist Church, was having an event in which people sitting in the audience would sing their favorite hymns into a microphone.
Independence ultimately won on battlefield
I always enjoy celebrating Independence Day, and hearing some of the stirring words written in the Declaration of Independence.
Thomas Jefferson wrote that our Creator has given us certain rights, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The way I see it, if I have life and liberty, that gives me a pretty good start on the third one.
But as eloquent as our founding fathers were, and how moving the texts they left behind, one fact can’t be overlooked. Our independence was ultimately won and secured on the battlefield.
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