Published: May 09, 2008 07:16 pm            

GUEST COLUMN: Mom means something more now

For as long as I can remember, people have told me how I look just like my mother. It happened so many times that I finally had to admit to myself that there was some truth to it.

While I acknowledged our external similarities, I vowed that I would never act like her. You see, she was the kind of proactive mother who struck fear in the hearts of misbehaving kids everywhere.

Growing up, I yearned for a more laid back parenting style. I envied my friends whose parents were either never at home or would not have noticed if their kids had skipped school or snuck out of the house to go to a party.

Unlike the cool parents, my mom was always there. She was always there to check up on me and to demand that I finish my homework. She never failed to call my friend’s parents to make sure we would actually be at their house all night long. To my disappointment, I would even find her waiting up on the couch as I slipped in 20 minutes past my curfew. My mother took her job as a parent very seriously; I cannot remember a day going by when she did not play an active role in my life.

Even worse than never giving me my space were the endless streams of prying questions she would ask. Often I would try to escape these daily interrogations, but she had a unique way of getting me to pour out my heart for her. On the rare occasion that I did manage to break the rules unscathed, I would not last five minutes talking to my mom before I burst into tears, confessing all my wrongdoings.

I expected that when I moved away to college I would cherish my newfound freedom and independence. I was no longer the delinquent who had to report to my parole officer mother about my activities and whereabouts. Yet, now that I have spent two years away from her, I have come to rely on the lessons she taught me and to deeply appreciate all of the time and effort she put into raising me.

I made it nearly a week at college before I called my mom seeking strength and guidance. Before, I had always hated how she interfered with my personal life, but without her voice of reason and experience, I felt lost. At that moment, when I was down on my knees wondering if I could ever survive on my own, she told me that she had always raised me knowing that one day she would have to let me go. She assured me that she would always be there with love and support, but that I had everything I needed to succeed.

My time away from home has been filled with new experiences and tough decisions. I realize now that all of my mother’s strict rules were not designed so she could assert her power over me. She was just doing her best to prepare me for all the trials she knew I would have to face without her. I am utterly grateful that she chose to be so present in my life and taught me how to live with honesty, integrity and concern for others. I have never told her this, but I still depend on her voice in my head to help me make hard choices and to cheer me up when I have had a bad day.

While spring break, college parties and road trips are certainly a whole lot of fun, there is really nothing I would rather do than come back home and spend time just talking to and watching chick flicks with my mom. When I was little, I always told her to lighten up and stop worrying so much.

I know now she was only trying to prepare me for everything that the world would throw at me. I no longer envy those kids with parents who could not find the time to teach their children everything my mother taught me.

Now, when people remark on our similar looks, I feel blessed to be compared to my mom. If I turn out to be half the person and mother she is, my life will truly make a difference in this world.

Meagan Pagitt is a 2006 Athens High School graduate who now attends college at the University of Texas at Tyler.

        

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